Ben Affleck, as always, protests too much.
Days after an Affleck source told Page Six that the actor was “afraid” for the “Princess Diana level” attention he received in Paris, excuse me Ben, but you’ll have to compete with Meghan Markle for that mantle, he and Jennifer Lopez released a three-day wedding extravaganza with Vogue magazine and an entourage of paparazzi at hand.
Sure, Affleck wants privacy for the holiest of occasions: his fourth marriage, his second and the one meant to make up for Affleck’s canceled 2004 wedding to Lopez — his love, he often says, unable to bear excess. media. attention. One wonders if the real motive was, of course, the rumor of Affleck’s alleged indiscretion with a stripper (which he adamantly denied). But I digress.
J.Lo and Affleck, don’t you know, it’s about subtlety, taste and touch. Hence the location, Affleck’s lavish Georgia plantation, despite the slavery overtones, despite reminding us all that Affleck once pressured Henry Louis Gates Jr. to remove a slave-owning ancestor from his episode. from “Finding Your Roots”.
This is the same guy who repeatedly called out the paparazzi during lockdown, walking slowly through the streets of suburban Los Angeles with his then-girlfriend Ana de Armas. The same guy he never learns, even after the literal appearance of him kissing her butt in Lopez’s “Jenny from the Block” video made him a laughing stock. Who recently told Howard Stern that he “would probably still be drinking” if he had stayed married to Jennifer Garner, mother of her three children, because she felt so “trapped” in her marriage. Who made sure the paparazzi got a photo of someone tossing a life-size cutout of Guns in their trash after they broke up last year?
Insurance: Dignity and privacy, your name is Ben Affleck.
for show business
Let’s go over that honeymoon in Paris, okay?
López and Affleck left the windows facing the street at the Hôtel de Crillon clear so paparazzi could shoot them in their bridal suite, Affleck smoking out the window, J.Lo looking like Evita Perón.
Then there was that totally impromptu, not at all stiff make-out session near the Elysee Palace, heads perfectly bowed for the photographers. And the flaunt at the Louvre, with Lopez in a $2,500 Dior sweater during Europe’s brutal heat wave.
Affleck passed out, his head thrown back and his mouth open, on deck during a day cruise on the Seine. Just two newlyweds trying to lay low in the biggest tourist traps in the City of Love.
As for the second wedding ceremony this weekend, there were a lot of tents, but somehow, I can’t figure out how or who made this egregious mistake, but somehow the drones and aerial photographers got a lot of pictures of the bride and groom walking. down the aisle, kissing and posing for wedding photos.
Perhaps because Lopez’s poofy train was so long it could be seen from outer space. And of course, what’s a private, intimate ceremony without Vogue covering everything?
It’s enough to make one wonder: Has Ben Affleck met Jennifer Lopez?
To paraphrase Warren Beatty versus Madonna: J.Lo doesn’t want to live off camera, let alone talk off camera. Why do anything if it’s off camera?
To wit: Read all about her photo-packed “secret” Las Vegas wedding in Lopez’s branded newsletter, On the JLo (I’m not kidding).
The most recent nuptials of these two wallflowers include big tabloid tidbits: inside shots of the venue, poorly dressed in red velvet tablecloths (what better choice for summer in the South), thick black plastic ashtrays, Edison light bulbs (? what’s this, 2000s Williamsburg?) and rustic fences with curlicue word art that read, in part, “Baby, I love you, heart and soul, marry me.”
Romantic expression through HomeGoods. We should all aspire to that rarefied sophistication. There was also the groom’s only brother, caught by paparazzi in Los Angeles on the day of the wedding, dazed and muttering that he had “other things to do”; Affleck’s mother needing a last-minute trip to the ER; leaks that Jennifer Garner, Affleck’s long-suffering first wife, had been invited; and now, reports that we may be in for a third wedding ceremony, this one for all the A-listers in Los Angeles who, for very good reasons, I’m sure, couldn’t make it to this one.
Not that Affleck is looking for attention. After all, it was a very subdued, exhausted, and surely clean-living Affleck who tried to sneak out of Georgia after the wedding, on a private flight with someone who really knows how to keep a low profile: his real life partner, Matt Damon. .